Abandonment and Forgiveness
by mysticladyrachel
Summary: Kikiyou gives Inuyasha one final chance to go to hell with her, but he cannot leave Kagome, so Kikiyou goes to hell alone, leaving Inuyasha trapped in a spell, once again bound to the sacred tree. Will Kagome stay with him, or will Inuyasha loose her too?


"Kikiyou! NO!!!" screamed Inuyasha, "Don't leave me again!"

The dead miko stared at Inuyasha with emotionless eyes, "Why do you care? You have her," she said as the light and wind whirled around her body. There was a final flash of light as she disappeared. A bright light flashed and flew away from the place where she had disappeared, zooming off through the forest toward Kaede's hut. Inuyasha struggled against the spell that bound him to the tree, but even though Kikiyou was gone, the spell held. He finally gave up struggling and hung limply by his wrists with tears streaming down his face.

He didn't know how long he hung there, but he was startled by the voice of someone calling his name. He thought about yelling for help, but knew it was no use. No one but Kikiyou could free him from the spell, and she was gone… she'd gone to hell and left him behind.

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_"Inuyasha… I know you love that girl," said the undead miko as she stared up into the limbs of the sacred tree._

_Inuyasha wished she would look at him. Maybe if she would look into his eyes she'd see how confused he really was. Part of him knew she was dead, and was able to move on and fall for Kagome. Part of him saw Kikiyou as a living woman and still loved her. He did love her._

_"Kikiyou…" he said in a coarse whisper. _

_"No! I will not waste my time on you anymore, Inuyasha. You let me die all those years ago. You stole the sacred jewel. When I was resurrected, you asked me to die again and let _**that girl **_have my soul. You chose her over me that night I tried to take you with me. You went with her instead of coming to find me. You chose her again and again, Inuyasha. Your chances to come with me have run out. I am going to die. I am going to rest, and I am going to forget the lousy hanyou who wouldn't even give up his filthy, tainted blood and become human to be with me." _

_"I had to avenge you, Kikiyou! Please, don't go!" shouted Inuyasha, tears pouring down his face. _

_Kikiyou stood silently in the swirling light for a moment, and for that instant she stopped descending, "Naraku is dead now. I've been avenged. Would you chose to go with me now, Inuyasha? Could you give her up?… Could you choose me over Kagome?"_

_"I… I love you, Kikiyou…" said Inuyasha weakly._

_Kikiyou nodded, "But not enough to give her up. Not enough to leave her," said the hopeless priestess, and the lights suddenly flashed even brighter than before. She was really leaving him._

_"Kikiyou! PLEASE, I need you!" _

_"You never really loved me! You would have chosen me if you loved me!" screeched Kikiyou, showing emotion for the first time since he'd found her alone in the forest staring at the tree. _

_Inuyasha struggled against his magical bonds. Her soul bearers flew past her one by one, following her to her final death. It was already too late, but he tried one last time. He had to try. _

_"Kikiyou! NO!" screamed Inuyasha, "Don't leave me again!"_

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But she had. She'd left him behind. The voice that called out to him had gone silent, but he knew she was there. He knew she was standing at the edge of the clearing, staring at him through the darkness. He didn't look up, even when he finally heard her footsteps coming closer and closer to where he hung.

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When Kagome saw him, she thought he'd been trapped again, like he had been the first time she'd seen him. She almost ran to him, but she heard him sobbing and knew he that whatever held him to the tree wasn't the same as that other spell. She stood for a long time in the shadow of the trees listening to his sobbing, wondering if the name she kept hearing him whisper was hers or Kikiyou's. His voice was so soft and choked with tears that she couldn't tell which woman he was calling for.

She stared at him for a long time before she got up the courage to go to him. She stood in front of him and looked up, trying to see his face under his long silver hair. She gasped as tears began to flow down her own face. He looked so… broken.

She stepped forward and gently leaned her face against his chest, hugging him as he hung limply from the tree. She willed him to be alright as she cried for him, trying to banish whatever had hurt him by the very force of her will, and she sobbed her own despair into his haori.

His voice was so soft that at first she didn't know if he'd really spoken, "Kagome."

"Yes?" she whispered into the folds of the fire-rat cloth.

"Why did you come? How did you know where I was?" he asked.

She was silent for a long moment as she gathered what she was going to say from the wreckage of her scattered mind, "I… the piece of my soul that… the piece of my soul had came back to me. I knew you would need someone…" she said softly.

There was a long silence, and not even the forest made a sound as the two stood there, one hanging from his wrists with the other pressed to his skin.

"She's gone, Kagome. She left…" he said, but in his mind he was shouting, _She abandoned me_!

Kagome nodded.

"She's gone, but the spell still holds. I think… I think I'm trapped here. There's no arrow for you to break this time, Kagome. Only she could set me free, and she chose not to. I'm trapped here… you should go." he said softly.

Kagome clutched his haori, clinging desperately to him as her mind began to spin. Never! I won't leave you, Inuyasha! I won't leave you the way she did. I'll stay here… forever. She felt something welling up inside of her. It felt like fear, pain and joy, panic and peace, all these conflicting emotions, all at once. It was the way she always felt around him, but it was stronger now. It pushed its way from her heart, up her throat and down her body. It welled up from deep inside, filling her body, making her shivery body pulse with this emotion. Her love for him filled her until she could no longer hold it in, and she cried out in desperation, releasing the pent up energy.

"INUYASHA!!!!!"

Blue light flashed, and Kagome felt the world go black.

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Inuyasha watched as Kagome cried into his chest. He didn't want her to leave, not really. What he wanted was for her to stay with him, to hold him. It wasn't right! Inu-hanyous mate for life! Why was he able to love Kagome even though he'd already chosen Kikiyou? It was true that he'd never taken Kikiyou, but that didn't matter. He'd chosen her, and for youkai that was enough. He was supposed to love her and only her until his death. Why then could he love Kagome? What was wrong with him that he loved two women? What was wrong with him that he could have chosen Kagome as well?

He had chosen her as well, long ago. He'd thought of her as his mate, and for that reason he always felt so confused and devastated when he was around both of them. Inu-hanyous just didn't have two mates! They couldn't! No matter how strong his human blood, he shouldn't have been able to love them both.

_But I do love them both! KAMI WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!!_ he felt the power in her building. He had felt her power before, but never like this. It was hot against his skin, but it didn't burn him. She was shivering against him, and he wanted so badly to hold her, but his wrists were still stuck to the tree.

She screamed. She screamed his name, and blue light, brighter than the summer sun lanced through his body. He felt her body fall to the forest floor just as he felt the invisible bonds holding him captive begin to disappear. He hung for a moment, suspended by her miko energy before he too fell to the forest floor.

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Kagome awoke in Inuyasha's arms. She was sitting in this lap, and he had wrapped his body so tightly around hers that she could feel every tiny movement he made... every breath, every sob, every shiver.

"I guess... I guess she wasn't... the only one... who could break the spell," said Kagome weakly.

Inuyasha sat up and looked down into her eyes. They were filled with an emotion Kagome couldn't quite name.

"I... you stopped breathing... I thought...you had left me too." he sobbed, and pulled her back into his tight embrace, "What's wrong with me Kagome? Why couldn't I choose? Inu-hanyous are only supposed to be able to fall in love once, so why couldn't I choose between you?" he sobbed as he clutched her tightly.

Kagome lay against his chest. She wanted to cry, but she didn't have the strength.

"She asked me if I could give you up, Kagome. She wanted me to choose her and go to hell with her, but I... I couldn't choose her over you any more than I could choose you over her."

Kagome nuzzled his chest, and fought for the strength to speak, "It's alright, Inuyasha..."

"NO THE HELL ITS NOT!" he screamed, "She... she never forgave me... even at the very end... she never forgave me," he whispered so low that she had to struggle to understand him even though he was right by her ear.

Something pulsed inside her. She felt the power, the same power as before coming back. It wasn't as strong now. The need was different now. Her soul was speaking to her, telling her what she needed to say. She smiled.

"She did forgive you, Inuyasha." she said gently, but there was happiness in her voice.

He shook his head and buried it in her hair, "How do you know? She never said it... How could you possibly know that Kagome?" he asked hopelessly.

"Because we're the same person, Inuyasha."

He pulled away and looked her in her eyes, "What?"

The power within her lent strength to her voice, and she spoke sweetly to the shaking hanyou, "She and I, we were separated by hundreds of years. We had many lives between hers and mine. We learned so much, we changed over time, but we are the same person, Inuyasha. That's why you, who could only ever love one woman, could love us both. That's why I could break her spells and set you free, not once, but twice. That is why the jewel, which was burned with her was inside me, and it is why I was able to come back to this time through the well. I am her, come back to you, to forgive you and love you, my dear hanyou. My Inuyasha." she said, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

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Inuyasha had never believed Kaede when he said Kagome and Kikiyou were the same. Kikiyou was so serious and proud. Kagome was so kind and free. They looked the same. They even had parts of the same soul, but he had always thought they were two different people. Now, as he listened to Kagome speak, he heard Kikiyou's poetic words blending smoothly with Kagome's gentle, loving voice, and he knew they were the same. More than anything he'd seen, more than anything she said, the blending of the priestess's poetic words and the future born girls kindness and forgiveness convinced him that Kikiyou had come back to him at last... as his beloved Kagome.

Tears continued to roll down his face as Kagome pulled him into her kiss, but this time they were not tears of loss or pain.

"I love you," he whispered as he pulled away from her.

"I love you too." she said with a small smile, and she lay her head against his chest, falling instantly asleep.

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**Please please please review. **


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